Hello to all! If you’ve read previous posts on this site, you’ll know me as the main subject of the blog. Though you have not actually heard from me. Perhaps you’ve read my mom’s retelling of my story (hopefully an account will be coming from my point of view soon) or seen other previous blog posts.Maybe, you stumbled upon this website while searching for cute pictures of pandas and trying to buy new pans from kitchen aid, who knows. In any case, I hope you’ll stay and get to know me a little bit better.
I’m a 19 year college student studying psychology and ethnomusicology on the east coast, something that I never thought possible a few years ago. After a seizure, abroad I might add, at age 12 I developed a neuro-autoimmune disorder which manifested itself in a revolving list of symptoms affecting my neurological functions, autoimmune health, and mental wellness. In the following years, my condition was constantly fluctuating making a specific diagnosis nearly impossible, something I’m sure many of you can relate to. But I was lucky enough to cultivate a support system of doctors and learn the power of resiliency during these tumultuous times. Most of my symptoms are dormant (over a year seizure free! Yay!) but it is because of the things that I have learned and the skills I have strengthened that have allowed me to get to the place I am today. A few years ago I spent my days in and out of wheelchairs, trying to remember the math formulas from the days earlier lessons. But now, I’m proud to say that I’m going to school across the country taking probably too many classes but thoroughly enjoying every minute.
But, away from my past and as the title states, I have survived another semester of college and I am back! At least for a little bit. Rather than allowing myself to be (completely) sucked into Netflix binge watching sessions, I concluded that I would try to do something more productive with my time. In the spirit of a new decade beginning, I thought I would take some time to reflect upon this past one. Again, if you’ve read the recollection of my story, you’ll know that these past 8 or so years have been arduous. But, I believe that the difficulties that I have endured have been matched by a similar level of reward that has emerged from these difficult times. This is why I wanted to share some of these experiences before I’m plagued once again by finals and the east coast snow. (Don’t get me wrong, I love my school and learning and even the slush of snow, I really do but being back in the California warmth is a nice break)
While I feel as though most reflection occurs prior to the New Year, I decided I would try a new approach. I have decided to take these next twenty or odd days to reflect on these past years, particularly some of the most harrowing times. All in hopes to extract some meaning from them to reconnect with myself and perhaps provide insight that could potentially help someone else. (looking at you dear reader)
As much as I would like to make promises as to how many of these posts there will be, I cannot. Mostly due to the fact that I am unsure of who might actually read these or take some meaning from it. Also, I’ve never really been one for resolutions, I like to make little goals or try to reflect, just as I’m doing now, in order to obtain a deeper understanding into why I haven’t achieved a specific goal in the past, and what it will take for me to do it now. But I digress, my plan here is to choose a memory, describe the experience, and display a lesson learned. In reflecting, I will try to keep the chosen memories from being too intense, however I will issue a trigger warning if needed. It can be difficult to revisit the past, but I believe that is important every now and then to really appreciate how far you have come.